see, what this is all about is i'm fat. i'm technically obese. yep. i've never been "skinny", that's just not how my body is, but i've been pretty attractive if you ask me and the boys who wanted me (mwah ha ha!!) i want my confidence back. it packed up and left about 30 pounds ago. i want my clothing style back. they seriously don't make cute clothes for fat girls. i want to learn how to surf, and need to fit into a decent swimsuit before that can happen. i want my friends to know i'm not letting myself go. i want my kids to be able to hug my waist. i want my chin back, too. actually, just my whole face, please.
now there are a few things i want that i'll never get without a surgeon: small boobs. tight abs. i guess that's about it. well, maybe i can get tight abs ... i just don't see how all this saggy skin will ever snap back into place.
oh, and we want to start trying for #3 this fall. and i absolutely cannot allow myself to get pregnant until i lose weight. seriously. it's not healthy. and it grosses me out. with gwen i was heavy and i could tell that people didn't really know if i was pregnant or just fat. and i kind of felt the same way as their faces looked. so not again.
i want to lose between 60-70 pounds. whoa, that's crazy! i weigh 195. that's how much i weighed when i went to the hospital to have addi. sick. i feel comfortable between 125-130.
my weaknesses are sweets. i would say i eat nearly one treat a day, like 2-3 cookies, or a candy bar, or an extra bowl of cereal before bed. if sweets are there, i will eat them. all of them. my body doesn't get that if there is a plate of cookies, i don't have to eat every morsel. i can seriously eat a dozen cookies at once. yep. and cake. *drool* LOVE cake. not so much into ice cream, but the baked goods seriously call my name. LOVE 'EM folks.
other than that i really eat pretty good: oats, eggs, turkey bacon occasionally (like once a month), lots of chicken, some steak and fish, lots of veggies: squash, broccoli, carrots, spinach, etc. etc. we eat out way too much, like 2-3 times a week, because i hate cooking. so that's a huge vice.
another one is water. i prefer flavored beverages to water. the taste of water makes me gag. but i'm getting to where i can choke it down pretty good. but flavored drinks: juice, chocolate milk, soda at least once a week, that's something else i need to "downsize" in my life.
and exercising. seriously, i don't get how mom's have time to exercise. do . not . get . it. when? when do you do it? after they go to bed? before they wake up? during nap time? send them to a sitter? how do you make it work??? i would love to workout, but not at the expense of my children's happiness. i can do the dishes and let them scream, or vacuum ... any cleaning really, and i don't feel too guilty. but i just can't hack it for working out. their screaming wins.
so, there it is. most of it, anyway. i've laid it on the table.
so cheers to a less bumpy me.
unedited.
2 comments:
I'm so honored to be a part of your blog world. This is just so exciting to me.
About working out- I always do it after Paige goes to bed at about 8pm. We have a gym close by, so that helps. But if I can't get to the gym I do workout videos, crunches, lunges, etc at night. I've never been able to work out early in the morning. Its basically impossible for me because I'm half dead.
I know resisting the treats is hard. Boy, do I know it. But when you start to see results, it makes it easier to resist.
well good for you!!!! seriously! thomas took some pictures of me reading to ambrose tonight and i was like.... sick. i know. i know. i'm pregnant.
i get it.
BUT- i wont be in seven weeks and then what? i'll have two kids and be even hungrier because i will be nursing and when i am stressed - i eat and i am pretty sure i will be stressed with two kids.
ok, enough about me.
this is great! im excited for you!
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