humbled.
said i needed help because i'm fat and i don't want to be.
she was nice. there was a med student there doing his rotations, so i had the happy opportunity of telling 4 people why i was at the dr.
the receptionist
the nurse
the med student
the dr.
awesome. bring on the humility. gobs and gobs of it.
"so what are you in for today {glance at chart} stefani (said like gwen stefani, not stephanie. thanks mom.)?"
"i'm fat and i need help losing weight."
{crickets chirping}
"oh. ok. well, let's get started!"
(FACT: only skinny people can be that cheery when talking about weight loss.)
ok, so it wasn't really that bad. really. and i like the doc. STORY: i think the best part was when the med student was checking my thyroid by feeling my throat as i swallowed and then addi rubbed my belly and said (quite loudly), "baby. momma baby ... gentle." (i'm seriously laughing SO hard typing this. it was SO embarrasing and SO funny.) at least she didn't kiss my currently vacant mid-section!
anyways, so i went for two reasons. #1. i was hoping maybe there was some sort of thyroid problem or hormonal imbalance or something going on that could explain (read: excuse) my large self and my inability for the past two years plus to make my large self small. #2. i wanted drugs. c'mon, we all know that phentermine works, right ... have you seen those people?? they lose weight. they have increased energy. their metabolism skyrockets to mt. everest. huh? oh, what was that? serious side effects? oh you mean the heart problems (read: failure, aka attack), possible stroke, irritability, jittery muscle movement etc. etc. yah, i guess i'm not into that risk/benefit relationship ...
SO ... it looks like i'm normal, so i'm just fat because i like sugar. that's swell. AND there is no miracle cure for obesity. diet and exercise. pah. like i haven't heard/tried/done/failed that before.
so, life is what it is. and so far i'm day 3 into the crusade. i'm crazy sore from squats and lunges and kicks and push-ups etc., so i walk funny and can't quite reach like normal. that's good! and i'm hungry. that's good too. and i feel guilty when i eat anything with sugar ... i guess that's good.
and, well, that's all for now. i leave you with a pic found here ...
gratitude:
because it could be me.
(only i'd never wear a tube top, strapless-halter, polka dot number)
4 comments:
haha- i love your writing style so much!
that story was awesome and i applaud you for your honesty and wit!
i think you are really on to something here and if nothing else, selfishly, this is helping me a TON.
no joke.
it is 9:18 at night and that is not technically a dangerous time to exercise in laie (sorry hauula-ites) so i am off to march around hale la'a. me, my white jiggly thighs, and candy from today in my belly.
thanks stef! so proud of you. you can do this!
I also love your writing style. you have a real talent for that.
And I agree that its a good feeling when you're hungry and sore. Many of us (me) eat so often that we never feel even close to hungry. Its nice to not feel so full all the time because you know you're changing habits and being disciplined.
I know how hard and stressful it is to try to lose weight. Eating more healthy food and smaller portions is so hard and such a sacrifice. But when you start to really see results it is SO WORTH IT!
I'm having a hard time lately for some reason. I've lost focus. Its time to get back on track. I'm glad you're doing this too.
Yes indeed- counting calories is awesome. My daily goal is about 1500 calories. How about you?
I know this has been said already BUT I TOO like your writing style. i think you have a gift Stef. Also I TOO am selfishly being helped by your writing. So Thank you. I hope you keep it up. For me that is always the hardest, keeping it up. It seems like one day that is missed can seriously ruin it for a LONG time. Even if all you can do in one day is ten minutes, at least you did something. Keep up the good work. :)
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